The expression, “blood is thicker than water,” has come up a lot for me in the past couple weeks. I’ve always found it disturbing, but also know our disturbances are there to show us truth. Disturbances can help us dispel with belief (break the spell of false belief).
Also, haunting me for days, was the song Red Rain – by Peter Gabriel, which became my inspiration, for this post, and to show, yet again, music heals. Once I noticed the connection of these two themes, I yelled “YES, I get it now.” Thank you, divine guidance for the inspiration.
These little disturbances that show up in our lives, offer answers if we are wiling to pay attention. We choose whether or not, and to what depth, we allow conscious awareness to take us.
A common modern (mis)interpretation of the expression, “blood is thicker than water,” is perceived as family ties being stronger than other ties. However, that interpretation is a product of choosing what you want to hear. Personally, it’s an expression that I have found to be a lie. It may not be the same for you, as I have seen blood ties that are strong, but it hasn’t been my experience, nor is it the experience of many victims/survivors of sexual abuse.
The original meanings pertained to comrades on the battlefield. The shared experience of spilling blood, created a bond as deep, or deeper than that of family ties. This meaning in quite a bit different than modern interpretation.
So how do we gain an enlightened, peaceful perspective when we feel betrayed by blood relatives, or when blood choses someone not of true blood (like a non-blood relative) over you? I’ve seen this difficult for some to deal with when there has been a lower level betrayal (like a white lie), but what about when a heinous crime was committed, yet treated with indifference?
In saying YES to awakening (taking the red pill of truth, as referenced in the movie, “The Matrix”), we see blessings where once was despair. We can get over the pain of a family that chose silence and ignorance, instead of integrity, by siding with a sex-offenders (blood or non-blood) rather than their own children or siblings. When we dig deep into truth, appreciation and gratitude flow through us with grace.
It occurs to me that those who are asleep (taken the blue pill), see us as the ones who are unaccepting when we speak up. It’s easier to blame us, or remain in denial, rather than accept the truth of conscious awareness. They view our digging deep to heal, as picking at a wound. I don’t see it that way. I see it as digging for buried treasure in the soul.
Karma is toxic to our enlightenment, expansion, and growth. Remember that with any karma, there is good and bad. Karma is your opponent in the game of breaking out of 3rd dimension. The concept of two angels sitting on your shoulder, one is your authentic self, the other is your ego. Guess what? Both are on your side. The belief that one is good, and the other is evil is a lie. Rather, they have different aspects to show us how to win against the game of Karma.
Karma is self-defeating, but we can choose to break out of karma altogether. Personally, I would never want to come back to inflict abuse on my abusers. Nor, do I want to inflict any more self-abuse as a result of all the guilt, shame, and blame, piled upon me from various sources.
Karma tends to encourage revenge, and the element of revenge is not enlightened. This is why I am having a love affair with integrity. Anyone else want to join me in creating a whole new, thick or thin, comradery of integrity without spilling any blood? That doesn’t mean the offender shouldn’t pay for what they did.
Regardless of the isolation you may feel from breaking off blood ties, integrity offers a greater love, which is how you will win at the game of life.
Victims/survivors of abuse are often led to believe that they asked for what they got. In breaking the victimization program, it became blatantly obvious, to me, there is big time karma asking to be broken, when not just one, but two female members of your family marry sex-offenders.
When I finally spoke up about the abuse when I was in my 30s, my father said, “If you kept your mouth shut all these years, why would you bring it up now?” My mother said, “They just took advantage of a young girl.” Clueless, that’s all I can say.
As more research is done, and as more break their silence, the answer to my father’s question is obvious. The intent of discussing this is so that more will report being sexually, or otherwise abused. Survivors will find strength and courage to heal from their suffering.
My sisters, handled my coming clean in distinctly different ways. One stopped speaking to me altogether. The other one continued to play the nice, saintly one, but now I see that was out of guilt, and the fear of embarrassment that anyone might find out that her husband was an offender. Additionally, she played a role by pretending to be unaware of the what was happening, when I would call out to her, to get him to leave me alone. The more I broke free from the hellish trap, this truth became more evident, particularly since after attempting to have a deeper rapport, she finally set a boundary stating she only wants “shallow details” about my life, while she cried about his mental status. The sex offender is in; I’m out. I am incredibly grateful that I am out!
There are defensive claims that one abuser has atoned, yet there has never been any formal punishment for the man who wore a badge and a uniform, was presented to me as family, as an authority figure, someone I was led to believe I could trust. While not unusual, abuse is NOT normal, nor should it be accepted as such. No justice has been awarded on my behalf, after all, as they said “It was just, Martha.” Ouch. Research show it’s never just one. Justice will have to come in a different form.
I choose the cleansing water of integrity, over toxic blood. That’s why the rain is red, and why the song was haunting me. It was a reminder of both their choices, and mine.
When guilt, and shame related to your abuse show up, recognize that it’s not our fault that all the karmic players are not able to break free from the grips of karma. Embrace that on a deep level. The burden of responsibility belonging to others is way too heavy to carry. Breathe a sigh of release. Appreciate the lightened load.
There is no need to play in the karma of others who are more offended by calling a sex-offender a sex-offender, and less offended by the lifetime of suffering caused by years of molestation and sex-offenses that never should have taken place. The list of symptoms from abuse is a long one. Breaking the karmic cycle sets us free. And…Yes, it’s true, my sister was offended when I called her husband a sex-offender.
Dysfunction and ignorance play on team Karma. Integrity plays for team Consciousness. Be cautious of righteous indignation causing interference. Once Karma fumbles, and is put on defense, you can play offense, since now you are offending people who can’t hold on to the ball of truth. In the game where we side with integrity, there is no need to cheat, and you can’t lose no matter how long the game is played. Why? Because you are still playing the game of life, but those players who were once toxic, have been benched. Now, they are replaced with worthy opponents, who aren’t even opponents. They are people who challenge you to be even better than you already are. These people are your “true blood.” I’ve fulfilled my old contract with team karma. I’m wearing a new jersey.
Enjoy the songs below:
Never letting me down, the Universe and Pandora, this song showed up right at the end of writing this article: Be Yourself – Audioslave