Breath and the Death of Abuse – featuring Breaking Benjamin

By now you are getting the idea that music is inspirational to our healing. In the preface of my book, I quote “a great humanitarian – And dear friend for years:” just kidding, that’s a line from All That Jazz. But, I do quote a very highly respect musician; someone who I admire.

“That’s one of the greatest things about music. You can sing a song to 85,000 people, and they’ll sing it back for 85,000 different reasons.”—Dave Grohl

     I’m working a little backwards with this post. Typically, I will write, and a song magically shows up that is perfect for the piece, and I get to giggle. Today, I was inspired by this song.

     Breath is something that I practice with purpose daily. Breath is the beginning and the end of life. Breath creates a divine, direct connection to pure source. Breath is something we hold onto when we are stressed. Breath can come with a sigh of relief. Breath can pick us up. Breath can calm us down.
You get it by now, right? Breath is vitally important. Common sense would tell us that, but how often do seem to fuhgettaboutit, when we shouldn’t?

     In any meditation, spiritual practice, massage, relaxation or energy technique, a good facilitator always reminds you to breathe. This brings me to my inspiration song of the day: Breath – Breaking Benjamin “Breath” – Breaking Benjamin. Lyrics here: 

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/breakingbenjamin/breath.html.

     The regular readers are get that abuse, trauma, particularly childhood sexual abuse is my soap box. A lot of songs are written about relationships, but I really understand what Dave Grohl was trying to say. Wait, he’s not in Breaking Benjamin. Yeah, I don’t think he cares about me not using one of his songs in this post.    

     So this is what this song means to me, and how do I relate it to abuse. Take this lyric: “I see nothing in your eyes, and the more I see the less I like. Is it over yet, in my head? I know nothing of your kind, and I won’t reveal your evil mind.” This is exactly how I feel about abusers and pedophiles.

Abuse victims know how hard it is to “let go.” It’s not that simple. If it were we would. We pray for it to be over in our head. What many don’t seem to understand is that CSA creates a life-long PTSD to varying degrees, and we are left with being triggered by certain words or events that send us into a downward spiral. We have to learn not to beat ourselves because society judges us for not letting go when there has actually been a chemical change to our brain. No wonder the veterans have such a difficult time.
    

     We can learn to forgive, but we don’t have to forget. Forgetting only comes when it isn’t important enough to remember anymore. I can’t forget because there are too many who are suffering, and they need help to find their path to end suffering.

     I always remember focused breathing. I’ve practiced A LOT. Letting go is the wrong place for an abuse victim to start, and so is focusing on love or the heart. For me staying present, aware, and at peace starts with acceptance. Here’s a little something for you to remember to stay out of being pissed-off. If you like it, maybe it will entice you to come to the Heart Pillar workshop which will be available very soon.  

acceptance jpg

As for the rest of the lyrics from Breaking Benjamin’s song- “Breath:”
So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what’s left.
I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.
I’m going all the way, get away, please.

[Chorus:]
You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
’cause I will be the death of you.

This will be all over soon.
Pour salt into the open wound.
     This is what sexual abuse does, it leaves a hole in our heart, but when we allow ourselves to accept what was unacceptable and heal, we can learn to fill that hole with compassion, and even love.
So many who don’t understand what we are going through, throw salt into our wound. We can choose to walk away from that. We want abuse to sacrifice itself. We want it to get away. We are determined to go all the way into complete healing of ourselves. And…those of us who are no longer silent, are going to be the death of abuse.