Has anyone ever said to you; “no one can make you feel anything or a certain way, you make that choice”? Annoying, huh? But, have you recognized that to be true?
All our emotions are trying to tell us something. When we hear this, it’s easy to drop into ego, and allow ourselves to feel wounded and/or invalidated. When we have an emotional attachment, this is precisely the time to observe ourselves, possibly even get to know ourselves a little better. Better yet, hold ourselves accountable. This doesn’t mean our feelings are wrong. It serves ourselves more authentically to observe…. and take in the lesson.
Have you ever gotten pissed-off at someone who was just trying to help? Family, friend, teacher perhaps? Chapter 3, of my book, talks about this. We also don’t want to place blame. It’s not the fault of the person trying to help, or your fault if you just don’t get that yet. It’s all part of the waking up process. Often our biggest lessons take a while to sink in and it can be frustrating until the enlightened “ah ha” occurs. It’s easy to slip into (doubt) “that sh*t doesn’t work,” (poor me, I can’t) it’s not working for me,” (denial) “I’d rather just not think about it,” (blame) “the teacher sucked.” If you haven’t examined your part and held yourself accountable for the role you played in being pissed-off or wounded, then be prepared to get the lesson again.
It’s easy to point the finger and say, “he/she thinks he/she knows so much.” I try to avoid telling, preferring to guide or share, letting others make their own choices, but let me tell you something, I walked around with my “piss-offedness” (yeah, my made up word) for a long time. Obviously, I had lessons to learn and getting over “pissed-offedness” is something I was meant to share. However, it’s the same for sad or any other emotion you are walking around with on a regular basis. It’s okay to validate the feeling, but then observer it, stay out of ego, and see what you can gain from this experience or hold yourself accountable for.
Recognizing that a messenger is bound take some shots, (bound…hmm also sounds like messengers have spiritual contracts, ya think?). I’m sure Osho pissed a few people off based on his following quote:
“I’ll Stand by You” by Chrissie Hynde and the Pretenders –has been playing over and over in my head. You decide how it fits in this post. Learning to stand independently on your own side (authentic vs. ego), or the ability to see that even when someone pisses you off, they really may have been standing by your side. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLpmj059JFA Then again, may be you have learned what you needed to, and it could just be time to move on to something new.