Undertaking a Soul-Level Comprehension of Love

Undertaking a Soul-Level Comprehension of Love

A soul-level comprehension of the concept of love, self-love, and unconditional love can be quite an undertaking. It’s easy to think it, but we don’t know what it feels like until we experience it deep within. Emotions and soul-level feeling are different.

Love is a word that has distorted meaning for many, yet this distortion isn’t always recognized within ourselves. If we want to learn, we have to ask ourselves, “What will it take to break down the barrier to all forms of love?”

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again, the majority of us have experienced abuse in one form or another. We, as souls, came here to learn about breaking through third-dimensional belief. Based on the level of abuse you survived, our perceptions, engrained beliefs, etc., will vary. We think love hurts. There’s a good blog song; “Love Hurts, by Nazareth.

Self-love was a big distortion within myself. I choked on the idea for quite some time. I’m not so arrogant to think there isn’t more to learn. I recognize that survival can be a hard habit to break. “Hard Habit to Break?” Now there’s a trigger! My first sexual abuser was a big fan of the band, so I tend to hit skip when I hear them on the radio.

Last week, my self-love, and self-respect were being tested. I went into the heart-center and simply “allowed in” what was showing up. I stuck to my current idea of self-love and self-respect, and asked Archangel Chamuel for guidance, comfort, compassion, and soothing.

Then I was blessed with three completely unexpected acts of generosity, and kindness. That program of being unworthy can lie so deep, it acts as a trickster. While I offer kindness, and compassion as a general practice, these acts reminded me, not only I AM worthy of graciously accepting kindness, but it’s a step in reminding me what I came here to do, and be. It’s okay to accept love in the present context. Without pushing, or forcing we can learn to accept that love really does exist, and doesn’t have to be painful.

We have many lessons along the way to understanding unconditional love. It’s best to let go of expectations created by engrained beliefs, and from experiences we shoved deep in our own psyche to survive. Other lessons may need to be conquered first. Hold love, self-love, and unconditional love as the ultimate goal. Keep in in mind, as you start to reach the goal, you may discover more lies in the yet unimagined. Remain open. Use any minor slips as reminders as to how far you’ve come, and get back on the trail when you are ready.

At this time, it seems appropriate to say, Be your own Valentine.

Regular readers know a song or two is always delivered divinely. This time there are too many to post all the links, so here is the earlier suggestion, and the final four that played while writing:

“Love Hurts,” by Nazareth

“Why Can’t This Be Love,” by Van Halen

“Life Is A Song,” by Jethro Tull

“I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing,” Aerosmith

“Send Your Love,” Sting

Here’s a late addition – “New World Blues,” by Gov’t Mule


Love and Blessings to ALL 

Learn to Trust Speaking from the Heart

When we learn to speak from the heart, which comes from a place of what we know, not what we think, there comes a time when we know the time is ripe, to “say what we need to say.”

As we honor our own heart awakening, we also honor and recognize the importance of allowing each soul to awaken when the soul is ready to awaken. We accept this in those we are close to, and meant to interact with. Often we try our best to stay quiet, and let them see things for themselves.

However, with those we made agreements with to assist before we incarnated in this timeline, spirit may push you so hard to speak up, that every part of your being is shaking inside, like a volcano ready to erupt.

While the quaking is presented in a different context in my book, “Why Bother? Because Self-Help is Never Stupid,” the internal knowing that shakes us to the core is exactly why there is a volcano on the cover.

No matter how hard we try to be loving and sincere, the person you unleashed your knowing upon, may not respond well. If you have complete peace in your heart for doing so, then trust this means it was the right thing to do. When we don’t get the response we wanted, even if we question our choice, and ego feels wounded, trust the peace in your heart. Let go of the outcome. No matter how much we know, there is always more to be revealed in divine time.

You can have love without peace, but when you have peace, love flows naturally.

As always, a song suggestion for this post. John Mayer – “Say What You Need To Say”

Ayah, Asher, Ayah – I Will Be, What I Will Into Being

Ayah, Asher, Ayah – I Will Be, What I Will Into Being

Ayah Asher Ayah… I’m sure I must have heard it somewhere before, but years back, when it showed up in meditation, I knew it was important. So I did what a lot of us do, I Googled it. And…for purposes of this New Year’s Eve post, I Googled it again, and dang… I can’t find the exact reference from before. Oh well.

Anyway, it’s rooted in Hebrew, and the typical translation is “I Am That I Am.” You know the expression that the burning bush said to that guy Moses in Exodus 3:14, and was written in the Torah before that. That first time I searched it, I found an alternative translation, which is “I will be, what I will to be.” To me that sounds an awful lot like, our God-given free will, and the ability to will into being, whoever and whatever we choose to be. It zapped me like a lightening bolt, and offered a sense of empowerment.  

Stop reading just for now, close your eyes, say it to yourself, Ayah…Asher…Ayah… I will be… What I (emphasize the I)… will to be. Breathe deep and say a few more times. Did you like it? I loved it then, and I love it now.

Some say I will be what I will be, but to me leaving out “to,” feels like it leaves out try, as in trying to be a better person or trying to create a life of your dreams. In fact, it feels like it leaves out dreams altogether. Leaving out “to” kinda sounds to me like giving up, and conforming. The more I awaken, conforming is not something I can easily do, or ever really could for that matter. Of course that’s just me, my opinion and how I feel. You get to choose what’s best for you. Of course, you allow yourself to do that.  

Regardless, my wish for you for 2015 is to tap into the energy of Ayah, Asher, Ayah. I wish you all the best in creating a life of your dreams. If you have a real desire to do that, start by asking yourself, ask your spirit, ask God, ask god, ask your high counsel, what’s it going to take to get me there? With gratitude, show me, guide me. Thank you. Thank you. All my selves (as in the multi-dimensional self) in the continuum thank you. 

For a second there I thought this might be a difficult post to find a song for, but I trusted, and turned on my trusted Pandora. Hehe…there it was, Sting – “Something a Boy Said,” followed by OAR – “Black Rock.” Oh, how I love it when that happens.

Something a Boy Said by Sting (This is one of those songs that you could misinterpret “something a boy said,” for “something a voice said.”

I’m going to include a link to lyrics for Black Rock because some of the sites aren’t complete. Lyrics for Black Rock – OAR I like the live versions better than studio. Black Rock by OAR

Happy 2015 Everybody! Stick with me in “The Heart Pillar” Workshop WILL BE launching soon. Much Love, Peace and Prosperity to ALL!


Perception – Can I Perceive in a More Peaceful Way?

Perception – Can I Perceive in a More Peaceful Way?

When someone says something that you don’t necessarily like or want to hear, do you sometimes perceive that as argumentative? Can you tell when it’s intended to be, and when it’s not? Does anyone really like to argue?

Is it possible, that even if the other person isn’t completely expressing from their heart, you can allow yourself to let go of your perception, and your ego, allowing discernment to take over, long enough to see where the other person’s ego, emotions, or perceptions lie? Always ask “what will it take for me to be at peace no matter what?”

Can you allow yourself to take a breath, ponder from the head, imagine from the heart, and check in with your authentic-self to offer some understanding? Your high-heart will help you discern. Sometimes it is a great idea to keep recognition, and awareness to yourself. You can always let the smile created by the ah-ha to come up inside.

It’s pretty amazing what happens when you give it a little try, even if it doesn’t at first appear to have a good result. Stick with it, you just might find your relationships changing. Sometimes it’s for the better, sometimes for the worse, or sometimes they simply dissolve. Any way it turns out, when you allow yourself to perceive things more divinely (particularly from the divine within), it all seems okay.

Ask your spirit and your ego, what they both have to say about the situation. In asking, and listening to what each has to say separately, often the truth will show up. Try it. Kinda cool isn’t it?

Don’t forget to embrace the disturbances.

Now practice the same thing, from the opposite perspective, by first asking yourself, “what is going on inside me causing me to perceiving this way?” “Where is the conflict within myself?” Hmm. Not quite as easy, is it? But, it will get easier with practice. A little practice makes it practical.

I didn’t forget the songs. They are below the picture. So don’t you, forget to buy the book, “Why Bother, Because Self-Help is Never Stupid.” Til next time. Purchase Your Own Copy of the Book Here

1.dialog argue


“Headstrong” by Trapt

“One Step Closer” by Linkin Park 

“Animal I’ve Become” by Three Days Grace


Denial of a Different Form – Soul Pilot – Chocolate Anyone? Chapter 4 – Part B, from my Book; Why Bother?

Denial of a Different Form – Soul Pilot – Chocolate Anyone? Chapter 4 – Part B, from my Book; Why Bother?


This post might be a little cheating on blog writing, but it’s not going to cheat you. In my book; Why Bother? Because Self-Help is Never Stupid, I talk about denial, its’ many aspect, the danger of denying our emotions, and the problems that are miscreated when we push our emotions way down below the surface where they lie dormant and fester ready to explode massively, like a volcano.  It’s why so many of us walk around pissed-off, in pain, numb, or overly sensitive. It’s also why I’ve got that big volcano in the background of the book cover. 

Here I am going to share a short excerpt, from my book, that discusses a different aspect of denial.  I am a proponent of exploring both sides of anything, exploring multiple facets, and playing on the spectrum of life until you find a place that feels like home, authentic, rare and real.

So here it is.  Song links at the bottom. Enjoy:

Part B. Denial of a Different Form

There is another form of belief around denial. There is a belief that to be enlightened, we must let go of all our earthly wants, desires and cravings; that we must deny ourselves (deny yourself?). Here again is something that has been taken too literal. While giving up anything for a period of a time has value, such as TV, sugar, chemical-laden food, and, particularly, idle chatter in the brain, there remains that possibility that giving up everything permanently has the opposite extreme and does allow fulfillment of the authentic self. Where is enjoyment in this belief? It’s difficult to have a flame of passion when the pilot isn’t lit. Shouldn’t you – “Let Your Soul Be Your Pilot” – Sting. How can you have joy without the action of participating in something that creates joy?

While this form of denial can lead to the emptiness required so that we can refill the kettle and start cooking with passion, living only an inward journey without participating in an outward journey can leave you feeling just as hollow as an outward journey without an inward journey. Going to temple on Saturday, going to church on Sunday, or going to any other service without really digesting the good or not being able to digest what you are being force fed is going through motions without fulfillment. Our lessons must be both palatable and digestible. If not, you need to find another place to eat, eat at home, or go on a liquid fast for a while, both physically and metaphorically. Keep in mind there is a key in the word “service” as, often, those who are the most fulfilled live in some type of service to others.

If you crave something, then taste it, as long as you aren’t sucking someone else’s blood physically, energetically, or otherwise. If your cravings tend towards causing yourself or other people pain, you need to deny yourself and seek professional help. Having some Hungarian lineage, I’ve encountered that feeling of having the life blood sucked right out of me.

Much of the problem we face starts when we allow marketing to manipulate us into thinking we need something outside of us to bring us satisfaction, and we are obsessed by not denying ourselves anything. This is fairly obvious in the outside world; we’ve got that concept intellectually under control even though we still buy into trappings. Those who are on an inward journey succumb to buying crystals, oil, incense, and more. Me, too! They are beautiful, they smell beautiful, and they are powerful tools, but they are still just the tool. It’s our job to implement the tool.

Often we crave things we “think” we want but are left unsatisfied or bored when we get those things. Then we are left wanting more or something else. We end up accumulating a bunch of crap, and the shit piles get deep. We feel disappointment. This is the time to look inward. We should be using the crap as compost and turn it into fertilizer.

By not cultivating the inside and the outside of self, we can create the false feelings of unworthiness or entitlement to the extreme. We start to deny ourselves based on unworthiness and fear of disappointment, and we tend to take on the expectation of wanting someone or something else to fix or fulfill us. If you need a Band-Aid (the aid of a band, music and sound) then use it.

Sound and vibration help break up stuck patterns and vicious circles, especially the vibration of words from the past that haunt us. We have to be open to listening; recognizing that we have options and choosing the sounds that create harmony for us.

Those who don’t feel they have support but have a strong will (solar plexus chakra), will want to seek support from reliable sources and not expect support from those who are incapable of offering it. Ayah Asher Ayah (explanation to follow in the chapter on intentions).

The concept of “you have to want it for yourself” and “find your own answers” contains the element of personal responsibility, which lowers your expectations. Help is there if you want it, but you have to crave it for yourself. It’s not about letting go of craving but tapping into what your soul craves. How about craving peace? Can you feel that?

Taking an outward journey without taking an inward journey defies the laws of our nature. It is in embracing both the inner and outer that turns our natural world into the supernatural that knows no fear.

Now that was a deeper level. So if you really are just craving a piece of chocolate, go ahead, for God’s sake, have a piece of chocolate. Just let it be. Allow some things to be a pointless pleasure; laugh and play with purpose and without. Seriously, did I say, “Let It Be”? Okay, then, The Beatles, just not fried or chocolate-covered. EW.

Soul Pilot – Sting

Let It Be – The Beatles

Sacred Chambers – I am nothing before the sight of God – Really?

Sacred Chambers – I am nothing before the sight of God – Really?

I have a tendency to say Yes to things, when I feel intuitively guided, or when the universe nudges me, or outright kicks me in the butt. In my book, I share a story about how the universe put me in a Deeksha Oneness Blessing Giver certification class. I never signed up, but somehow I was registered. I took that as a sign from the universe, checked in with my intuition, and knew that it was important for me to attend.

Initially a little bored, it turned out to have a profound impact for me. The boredom was just my ego’s resistance to letting go, as the experience revealed a deeper knowing, and comprehension of great wisdom appeared over time.

Since the initial training, I had not been active in the Deeksha Community, but that doesn’t matter. Sri Bhagavan of Oneness University teaches the importance of not following as he promotes self-discovery (Oneness University). Interesting how messages come up in “Synchronicity” (The Police The Police – Synchronicity 1) since a similar message about discovering your own path is in the book “Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse. I had read it just weeks before hearing about the new Sacred Chamber event.  “Siddhartha is a great read for anyone choosing an experiential journey.

So what was this Sacred Chamber that I decided to say yes to? Well let’s just describe it as a contemplative event that can move us towards “Oneness.” History? Creation? I couldn’t find that on a google search in under a minute, so I let it go, and I accept that it IS profound. Nothing more matters right now.

As I am sitting in contemplation for the first meditation, and in the 1st Chamber, I am being haunted by the words, “I am nothing before the sight of God.”  I am nothing? Really?  That sounds like religious rhetoric and dogma. While having a disturbing familiarity to it, but I didn’t allow it to piss-me-off, the way I often have in the past. Since then I’ve googled it a few times, and still have not found an exact religious text reference, or phrase worded this way.

The host directed me to move to the 2nd chamber for my personal alone time, and almost immediately the message came up again, but this time the words struck me differently.

“I am nothing BEFORE the sight of God.” Of course, I am nothing BEFORE the sight of God, he/she is our creator. How could I possibly be anything before being created in God’s imagination? I was nothing BEFORE the sight of God, now I AM in the sight of God, therefore, simply I AM. Do you think this IS a message regarding pure creation? If God (male or female, I don’t know) is our creator, how can we BE anything before we are in God’s sight to create us? Once again, a somewhat disturbing message such as “being nothing” was transmuted. Thanks Osho for making me more aware of the benefit of disturbances.

We complicate so much in our lives that the newly revealed message almost seems too simplistic, but is it?

osho - love-to-disturb-people-quote-saying

Certain Religions have taught us that we are less than God; that we are unworthy of God. It is a misperception of the words because of the way they are spoken. It’s the energy around the way the words have been presented. Being less than anything, inequality, is a belief contrived by religious control. Change the energy, perception, and idea of the words to the idea of pure creation, “I am nothing before the sight of God,” and you change the meaning from being less than, and we become equal; worthy. A divine direct connection is remembered, re-established; we were never separate. He/she is always with us. When you feel this, suddenly there is an “of course”, an “ah-ha.” I am nothing before the sight of God, but wow, how cool to KNOW that I am worthy because he/she created ME. Once God has you sighted in imagination that IS the moment of divine creation. How does this change the meaning of the words of Christ in John 14:12? All this I do, you shall do and greater,” Look it up. Read it.

This next thought, I borrowed from a friend, Tracy Brooker, www.consciouseducation.net. Tracy recognized that the reason Christ was divine was because he was never taught that he was “less” than divine, and therefore, didn’t forget his divinity. Wow! Brilliant! This is the Christed Consciousness; the perfect child; the divine child. We were all conceived this way. We’ve all simply forgotten. It is only through indoctrination that we perceive ourselves as anything less than divine, perceive ourselves as nothing. Another thought occurs to me; if a child is conceived unwanted, it’s quite possible that the forgetting can occur in the womb?

Your own personal divinity, think about it. Feel it. Know it. Integrate it…for yourself. If it disturbs you allow yourself to embrace the disturbance to discover why it disturbs you.

Queen – “Bohemian Rhapsody” is taunting me, and yes it fits. You can determine why. Queen- Bohemian Rhapsody

Our ego complicates the idea of “being nothing without God.” Our ego can be a twisted little deceiver, maybe even the devil in disguise, or perhaps it’s there to help us find we were worthy all along. Not only has the ego been a deceiver, but we’ve allowed ourselves to be deceived by the followers of ego who don’t even know they are followers.

So which do you prefer to follow the authentic self, which is the whole self, or the ego self who is only a portion of self? In my book, Why Bother? Because Self-Help is Never Stupid,  I say the ego gets a bad rap. It’s not the ego’s fault that it is only one part; one aspect of the whole; and that’s all we’ve listened to. Stop beating up the ego up because you haven’t been operating from the integrated self. Maybe we should apologize to the ego for being so hard on it when we’ve segregated and/or separated it from the whole, and not allowed it to participate with the whole, including the whole that is part of being God/god knowing that we are all part of whoever/whatever we were created by. Separate is an illusion created by fragmented parts of self, as a tool to shake up our awareness, and so that we can fully comprehend what being whole is. Try apologizing to that part of self and see what happens. Do it with awareness, staying out of arrogance, which is also from the ego. Try humility. Try living by Christ’s example.

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I am now  offering a process given to me during meditation to call home fragmented parts (aspects) of self to the whole in complete oneness. It’s a technique to embrace the full spectrum of you, and expands beyond our limited 2d or 3d thinking process.

Straying a bit from my rocker passion even though I included The Police and Queen, here are two beautiful songs in alignment with the I am nothing theme:
Jonathan Thulin – I Am Nothing Jonathan Thulin – “I Am Nothing”
Jason Nelson – Nothing Without You Jason Nelson –“Nothing Without You”