When we learn to speak from the heart, which comes from a place of what we know, not what we think, there comes a time when we know the time is ripe, to “say what we need to say.”
As we honor our own heart awakening, we also honor and recognize the importance of allowing each soul to awaken when the soul is ready to awaken. We accept this in those we are close to, and meant to interact with. Often we try our best to stay quiet, and let them see things for themselves.
However, with those we made agreements with to assist before we incarnated in this timeline, spirit may push you so hard to speak up, that every part of your being is shaking inside, like a volcano ready to erupt.
While the quaking is presented in a different context in my book, “Why Bother? Because Self-Help is Never Stupid,” the internal knowing that shakes us to the core is exactly why there is a volcano on the cover.
No matter how hard we try to be loving and sincere, the person you unleashed your knowing upon, may not respond well. If you have complete peace in your heart for doing so, then trust this means it was the right thing to do. When we don’t get the response we wanted, even if we question our choice, and ego feels wounded, trust the peace in your heart. Let go of the outcome. No matter how much we know, there is always more to be revealed in divine time.
You can have love without peace, but when you have peace, love flows naturally.
As always, a song suggestion for this post. John Mayer – “Say What You Need To Say”
Suck it up.
Keep a stiff upper lip.
Shake it off.
Brush it off.
Ignore it. Toughen up. Get a thicker skin.
You better learn to take it.
Oh boo hoo, bully for you. (the sarcastic version)
If you are going to cry, I’m going to give you something to cry about.
How many of us remember hearing these expressions? In some ways, they are a “minor thing” (there’s a song hint), and they do have the power to build character. In other ways, they create chaos. This can be the beginning of being taught feelings are wrong. For little things, these statements may have some value. Certainly, we don’t want to be in a perpetual state of heightened emotion and over-reaction, but what about when something traumatic happens? Abuse leaves you in a state of confused terror.
Is it important to develop coping skills, and a sense of stability? Of course. However, when something tragic happens, these types of words whiz through our heads, causing us to feel bad. Rather than courageously speak up, we shut down. Likely, some other expressions run through our minds like, “no one wants to listen to you whine, or no one cares what you have to say.” No one cares, hmm…yeah, why bother, to speak up, if no one cares anyway. You are supposed to brush it off.
There comes a point in our healing process, that it is beneficial to view both sides of the coin with the words that created a devastating impact on us.
Through my practice of consciousness, funny little occurrences remind me just how important it is to not only fully comprehend and learn to release painful experiences, but also recognize that not everyone that not everyone is ready to wake up. As I tear down walls, I get an intuitive urge to reach out to someone just to say, hey it’s been a long time, hope you are well, stuff happened, I wasn’t trying to be aloof, I was learning to cope. I find it easier, and easier to do that, mainly because I have no attachment whatsoever to the outcome.
Sometimes, a divine spark will occur that creates a wonderful reconnection. Other times; not so much. Here’s an example; I got a response from someone who said, “whatever happened to you, you hid it well.” I burst out laughing. While I cannot be certain of the intent of this comment, I sensed this person was taught being silent is like a badge of honor, and maintaining the fake smile was the absolute best way to resolve anything, bury it, shove it down, shake it off. Maybe this is just my warped sense of humor, but to me this was simply an experience in recognizing that while some are waking up, others are sticking to the old story.
Sucking it up, only has value when we use it to take responsibility for our own healing, not when it is used to ignore or bury deeply rooted issues that cause stress in our environment.
When we take a little time to examine the deficit and the benefit of words, it becomes easier, to take the next step which is to breathe, and say to ourselves, “yes, it’s time to let that go.” Take it one step further, and feel it fragment, dissipate, and disappear. Hold that feeling a little longer. Really dive into the feeling of dissolve. There doesn’t that feel better?
Here are the songs that came up while creating this blog: Did you catch the earlier hint?
Red Hot Chili Peppers – Minor Thing Red Hot Chili Peppers – Minor Thing
Korn – Did My Time; If Korn is not your taste, at least read the lyrics. Korn – Did My Time Korn – Did My Time Lyrics
Sting- Sister Moon; okay this song doesn’t not have a whole lot to do with this post. It was the last song that came up as I was writing, and it just has such a sultry feel, that it resonates the feeling of dissolve for me. I hope is does for you too. Sting – Sister Moon
Please don’t forget to comment or buy the book – Why Bother? right here on the website! Namaste!
Firewalking, Rebar, Glass, and Arrows; what do these things have in common? Well, they all played a role in a Firewalking workshop I participated in this past weekend, facilitated by Phoenix Transformational Services from Las Cruces, NM, and hosted by the Southwest Institute of Healing Arts, in Tempe, AZ. Thanks to both; it was a great event, and turned out to be much more than a firewalk.
I know a lot of people who would say, why would you even want to try that? Well, I have lots of reasons why I would walk fire, but I still don’t think I’d swim with Sharks. Hmm…I just realized that’s a metaphor for another book, one I’ve never read, but I like the title. It also occurs to me that I may have swum with a few sharks or maybe a barracuda (save that as a song hint).
What can I say, I’m a bit of a pyromaniac at heart, and I am a fire sign. I’ve got lots of stories involving fire that would strike a few questions. When I got the e-mail advertising the Firewalk, I got hit with an intuitive spark. Suddenly, it occurred to me that I was severely burned before I was 2 years old, and still carry the scar today. Me, being me, always alert for cues and enjoying word play, my next thought was, Hmm…that burn scarred me, but didn’t really scare me.
Likely it was 2nd degree, but who knows it could have been a 3rd. I had a cup of scalding, hot coffee spilled on me, and all I remember is my mother saying that the skin peeled away when they took my shirt off. Like everything involving my family, not much else was ever said, and even if you asked, the answers were ambiguous or sarcastic. After a while, you quit asking because…well you know; it becomes insane. I am fairly certain I’ve finally let go of wondering how I ended up in that family. Remembering my parents were fond of instant coffee (yuck), and how the water was always scalding hot, and having other memorable burns throughout my life, I can only imagine how that burn must have felt.
Working with abuse, and the trauma it causes, I still often ponder what causes one memory to stick, and another to have little or no relevance. It also occurred to me that even with all the conscious, unconscious, and energetic journeys I’ve taken to embrace the emotional impact sexual abuse has had on me, I’d never really explored this burn event. It was natural for me to accept that it was truly an accident without malicious intent, because that is the truth, but the scar is there to remind me every day that it happened. Knowing what I know now, there likely were unconscious elements challenging feeling safe and protected, particularly at such a young age. I’m certain it was some sort of set up for the future, and time for any unconscious remnants to leave.
With those thoughts influencing me, I didn’t hesitate to sign up. I also realized that I have been burning myself physically and metaphorically my whole life. That was one of those “of course” moments, since I see it as more evidence pointing to a definitive connection between the mind, body, spirit, how we create, how we store experiences and their impact in our bodies. Along with that is knowing that what we create unconsciously is there to offer us hints if we allow ourselves to see them. Something was showing up, asking to be released. It actually would make more sense to say transformed, since fire is a representation of transformation. Regardless, it was time to stop burning myself, believing that I always get burned, and that I tend to burn myself in many ways.
So did I have to ritually, walk the fire to prove to myself that I could? No, not really. It was more about being in action, and having the experience. It was an opportunity exercise in humility, and an opportunity to be an active participant in my own life, experiencing what being limitless feels like. I chose to show up for myself. I’ve always been fascinated by seeing others perform extraordinary feats that defy typical human comprehension. I know it’s more than just mind over matter. It comes from a deeper level of awareness, and breaking down outdated belief systems.
Having already practiced getting into altered states of consciousness, I showed up with no fear of walking the fire. However, when we were presented with some other challenges, like breaking an arrow with our throats, my comfort zone was a little rattled. Now, this might sound silly to some of you, but I wasn’t so rattled about breaking the arrow, as I was deciding and stating what breaking the arrow represented for me. In other words, what fear it was that I intended to break through. I’ve broken through so many, but with all integrity, I have a few still hanging around. Like being overly concerned about setting my intention in a calculated and precise manner, as if it were life and death. It’s not like I don’t have pages of carefully thought out intentions written down already. Maybe I was rattled in just picking one. Silly.
Truth be told, my biggest fear is of being alone. Even though I summoned the courage to walk away from my ex-husband, I still hear the ex’s voice saying, “if you ever leave me, you will die alone, because everybody hates you.” My ego says, “if you end up alone, your family will have been right about you the whole time. You should have just remained their target of belittlement, and kept your mouth shut about the sexual abuse. They see it as you being the only one with the problem.” Plus there is still the memory of that nasty voice saying, “what makes you think you’re so special.” Granted, I know it’s all lies and b.s., but the ego slips in once in a while to test my commitment to defeating the issue of abuse. It’s not an unbending, stubborn stance, as my family sees it. It is a dedication, and commitment to transformational change that is absolutely possible in a limitless capacity within realism.
Still, when I decided it was my time to break the arrow, I didn’t say I wanted to break through my fear of being alone. Instead, I said I wanted to break through my fear of being heard and noticed, which has to do with more successfully putting myself out in the world to write, speak, facilitate and teach about breaking through all types of abuse using conscious awareness. In all reality, it is connected to being alone because it is their voices that are still causing me a small amount of fear, but in an ever reducing proportion to my determination to assist others eradicate the after-effects of their abuse. Even though I know I am not alone, the physical act of breaking this arrow with my throat, metaphorically offered a representation of what I needed to never feeling lonely. It shattered. See Below:
Often abuse victims will isolate themselves because for a while during the healing process, it is easier to tuck ourselves away from triggers than it is to recover from them. It gives us time to learn how to shatter the arrow headed towards us before it hits the target; the target being us. Truth be told, feeling alone is not exclusive to survivors, and is not the same as lonely. All humans have a fear of being alone, abandoned, betrayed, lonely, separated, or isolated, even the hermit. This is where remembering our own divinity plays a magnificent role.
Back to the event itself, next up was walking on glass. Yeah that was no big deal to me. It’s all in the navigation, but I do understand why others had a fear. We’re taught to believe that broken glass cuts, and it can. I’ve actually navigated over glass in bare feet following a creek trail I used to visit numerous times. Now the rebar, bending that by pressing it against your trachea, that made me sit on the edge of my seat. After watching it, a couple of times, I asked myself if I really needed to do it?
Then I remembered the courage I had to summon to jump off the 30-foot cliff at Fossil Creek, AZ. The waterfall itself, is 20 feet. That time, my daughter shook her head. My boyfriend was annoyed. My sister laughed, but didn’t walk her ass up there, and all the teens and college students cheered on the 50-year-old woman. I admit it wasn’t pretty. Someday, I will go back and redeem myself, but none-the-less I did it.
The rebar is bent with a partner, and being there alone meant I had to find a partner, and trust that partner. Really… so ridiculous that it takes more courage to ask someone to do something with me then it does to actually do the scary thing. It all comes down to belief, not power of positive thinking. Positive thinking alone can get you hurt, and so can fear. I’ve actually written about how the power of positive thinking can create sabotage in my book; Why Bother? Because Self-Help is Never Stupid. Are you ready to read it yet?
The ability comes from conscious intention, and believing in yourself. It’s not even a matter of altered state of consciousness. It is important for your vibrational rate to be raised, which it naturally is when you believe. Our facilitator, Marvin did a great job of making sure the energy level was in the right zone. This is what I encourage all who are stuck in victim mode or still in survival mode for that matter; believe you can heal. Believe you can get beyond the hurt that you will never forget, and someday you will. Remember to be patient with yourself, that divine timing exists, and to be grateful for how far you’ve already traveled.
It may seem like I am getting off track from the event, but that is only because events like these always have a deeper, more profound meaning, if we allow ourselves to explore that on an integrated level of awareness. If you don’t allow it to integrate, it won’t have the same empowering impact. None-the-less, I found my partner easily, without anguish, and we did it; we bent the rebar. Third challenge complete.
Now it was time to walk the fire. Yes! Bring it on! Anyone who thinks this is a parlor trick, let me tell you that those coals are 1200 degrees or higher. The first time through, I walked the 21 feet alone. Yes! The second time, someone I just met asked, “want to do it again, together?” “Hell yeah, I want to go,” and honored to do it with a new acquaintance.
Just as we approached the pit for our turn, the facilitator decided it was time to stir the coals. That means hotter. Hell Yes! The third time through, I walked slower and much more deliberate, really testing the limits, or should I say my sense of being limitless. This girl (Peter Pan Syndrome) is done with the ingrained belief of being limited. At the other side, my new friend said, “you walked that like you owned it.” Yep, that’s what I did, and that’s what I am doing with my life. After all, you can’t really own anything else in this life, but your experiences. What seems like a simple act, can show you how doing something different or being in action can have a profound effect in many areas of life.
On a final note, I’m pretty sure having someone I just met, and may never bump into again, ask me to walk the fire together, was my sign, that I am not alone, never was, and never will be. I’ve got a real sense of empowerment now over that fear and limiting belief.
Oh, and one more thing, only what you fear hurts. Remember that when you still feel like you’ll never get past whatever you are struggling with. Instead embrace it.
So what songs can we relate to with this post? A lot of songs about burning fire, are too obviously about sexual desire, and hard to spin to this post. How about the classic by James Taylor and Carole King, “Fire and Rain?” Fire and Rain – James Taylor & Carole King And I like, “Barracuda” by Heart since this song exemplifies the sisters expressing their empowerment by not allowing their reputations to be tarnished by false immoral actions. I hope they shattered the ego of the ass hole who wanted them to pretend to have an incestuous relationship. I love how well the song, and the story blended into this post, and its purpose. YES! Rock on Heart sisters! Barracuda by Heart
A blip from the song:
If the real thing don’t do the trick
You better make up something quick
You gonna burn, burn, burn, burn, burn to the wick
Oooo, Barracuda, oh yeah
Often in the metaphysical or spiritual world, we hear, “get out of your head and into your heart,” but what does that mean?
Sometimes we hear someone say, “I know in my heart.” Without having practice speaking from the heart to reach knowing the feeling of being in your heart, how do we know if truth is coming from the heart, or is actually the ego speaking to what it wants the truth to be?
If we all come into this world to understand what it is like to be human, doesn’t that mean we originate from a higher dimension of divinity? If we were created by the divine, but living in 3rd dimension, how do we know what it feels like to experience being divine without the opposite feeling of less than divine? How do we discover and of it without observation and pondering? Will it always have to be this way?
It is said, there is a forgetting that occurs when we manifest as human. So to experience being human, does that mean we can get knocked for a loop each time we manifest? Is that when the forgetting occurs? Most, I know would say, “Yes. This life has knocked me for a loop?” Would that be a karmic loop? Do we want to stay stuck in that karmic loop, or do we want off the rat-wheel? Let’s not forget to add free-will to the soup. You can ponder how that fits in.
If we originate from a higher dimension, and until everyone on the planet remembers their divinity, rather than turn a blind eye to the ugliness, why wouldn’t we strive to bring light to this messed-up world? It’s not so scary or ugly once you embrace it. Could we change things for the better, for everyone, if we could learn to stop playing in karma? When we try and others around us still live from fear and ego, can we accept that type of pain that may cause? Is a little rejection and ridicule worth the effort? I’m saying, YES! Then again, we all choose how we want to play.
In a past blog I talked about the Kobayashi Maru, the no-win scenario from Star Trek. This post is reminding me that I have faced a few of those. In diving really deep into my healing, I have been accused of being focused on negativity, or negative aspects in my life, when in reality, I didn’t want to settle for being just okay, or just able to cope. I desire a complete level of healing, and I want to show others they can have that too.
Even if everyone shows up wanting deep healing, their ego may not be ready to accept it. This has put me in a position of being accused of always wanting to be right. Has this happened to you? Have you allowed the things other people say to make you feel bad, and want to go back to sleep? Instead, observe the situation. Can you see that it isn’t all about you? Use the experience for your own growth.
In turn, in having a desire to help others experience a more positive life, have you been accused of having unrealistic expectations, being a dreamer or overly optimist? Do you sometimes feel like you just can’t win? Regardless of what anyone else thinks, we can choose to stop playing in the karmic loop regardless of how large or small the impact.
Does that sound a little like there is ego attachment? I am experiencing what it is like to be human, so there most likely is something yet to be uncovered. That doesn’t mean I don’t think about, imagine, and attempt to feel what it would be like to have my humanity and spirituality in complete alignment and integrated.
“Mastery doesn’t mean there isn’t more to learn. It means the ego no longer fears knowing more.”
Where does the fear of knowing more begin for you? When we are empathic, which all of us can be, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a little pain associated with what someone else thinks. A little pain doesn’t mean you are or you aren’t living in your heart. It is a guide to identifying truth. Being an observer let’s you identify what you are feeling, and from there you can make a choice from the heart as to how you participate in life. If you feel nothing, this is numbness, and being aloof. Being numb, or in denial is not living from the heart.
Nothing Man by Pearl Jam Connecting yet? Click the link and try this song to go with our topic.
If we are honest in observing ourselves, as we learn and grow in heart-centered consciousness, we can feel an underlying disturbance when we try to convince ourselves we are speaking from the heart, but aren’t. Are you willing to observe, and embrace a disturbance to get to the bottom line of truth? When we do this, there will be less self-sabotage in our lives. Do you prefer to stay in the denial of what you want to be the truth? It’s a choice, right?
Pat Benatar is asking to be heard here. You Better Run by Pat Benatar, click the link to listen.
How to know the difference between what you think and what you know.
Living from the heart-center, means refusing to accept anything less than your own divinity where choice is more clear. That doesn’t mean you leave your head behind. The power of observation requires you to take your head with you. Dare I suggest you don’t right or wrong either the head or the heart? Yes. I dare, and I dare you to stay out of right and wrong.
Do you fear observing? Do you fear what you might find out? What behaviors do you use to avoid knowing the truth? Are you willing to change that? Can you see pain and confusion as a tool to help us observe, and discern the truth? Are you willing to accept that being in a 3rd dimensional sleep is what has kept us stuck in negative karmic cycles? Are you willing to let go of fear and know truth, even if that causes you some discomfort? Are you willing to ask yourself, is this the absolute truth, or just what I want the truth to be? If I ask my ego to be honest, can I let it be honest? Are you willing to put your ego in a time out and accept the answer? If you do, you just might learn what it feels like to be in your heart.
Two More Songs asking to be part of this post, click the link and listen. After All – Al Jarreau & The Last Place that Love Lives by The Black Crowes
Don’t forget comments are always welcome, and my book Why Bother? Because Self-Help is Never Stupid is available for sale right here on the web. BUY THE BOOK HERE