WARNING: This is a three-part entry. Let that be your sign that signs are all around us.
Part I: Some of you believe in synchronicity and divine signs; some of you don’t. Either way, it’s okay. When I first recognized and accepted my journey, over 30 years ago, my sign was white feathers. It is said feathers are gifts and/or signs from the angels. As is so for many, the feathers were there to let me know I was on the right path, and that everything was going to be alright. And… there were lots of them. Commonly, they would be next to my car door, in a doorway, walking path or would float right in front of me. More obscurely, would be when they would show up under an object or in the dressing room of a retail store.
One day, a friend who knew about my little idio-synchronicity (yeah, that’s a made-up word), called. She said she had been having a particularly bad day, and while stopped at an intersection, caught up in mixed emotion of self-pity, anger, resentment, what-ever we all go through, suddenly a white feather floated through her car window. In a split-second she found herself laughing out loud and saying, “thank you, thank you, thank you,” to whoever or whatever being delivered the sign that everything would be alright.
Cool, we got a little Bob Marley mixed into this post – “Everything’s Gonna Be Alright” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmwue6Jq4KA. You can pause here, stop altogether, or listen in the background, whatever you like, but there is more to this story about signs, and I invite you to continue reading when you are ready. Maybe my story will help you to read your own signs a little better if reading them has been a challenge for you. Even if it hasn’t been a challenge, maybe the story will offer a friendly reminder of some of the signs you have already received and temporarily have forgotten.
Part II: For me, the white feathers made sense because my primary guide, guardian angel, is Magic Cloud, who was a Native American Sioux. He introduced himself to me back in the late 80’s right when I was accepting this said journey.
My ex-husband made fun of me, and made fun of Magic Cloud when I openly admitted to my newfound connection. He had a quite a sense of humor, but with this event, he would dance around and do Native American chants in a highly mocking manner. The man had really, really bad vision, so he always kept his glasses close by and put them on his nightstand before sleeping. Being a musician, and working until 2 am, I would be half-way through my workday before he would get up. One day, he called me at work and asked me if I had hidden his glasses. My instinctive reaction was, “What are you talking about?” He said, “My glasses are missing, so I had to pull out an old pair. I’ve looked everywhere for my good ones, and I know I put them on the nightstand like I always do. Did you hide them?” “Seriously,” I said, “I am not that devious.”
When I got home, changed and started about my home routine, I noticed this strange ball of pink fluffy stuff, like a finely shredded poly-satin which matched absolutely nothing in the house. The next thing I noticed was a blanket rolled up in an odd way on the couch. I picked up the blanket and shook it, so I could fold it and out came the glasses. “Found your glasses,” I shouted. “Where?” he said? “Rolled up inside the blanket,” I replied. He said, “That can’t be. I shook that blanket out earlier. “Well it was rolled up in a ball, and they were in there.” Because his persona was that of an entertainer, and because he kept himself in this mode, there wasn’t a whole lot of sincere expression from this guy, or serious for that matter. In that moment, there was sort of a stop-motion, and then slow-motion, “I did not roll that blanket up.” “Hmm,” I said, “I guess Magic Cloud has a sense of humor.”
Okay, so the pink fluffy stuff was still really random and weird, and I could never figure out where it could have come from. I assumed it was Magic Cloud’s way of offering me a sign that there was more to this episode. In particular, it was a sign to me that “he-who,” “the-ex,” wasn’t just being stupid. And, it was a sign that couldn’t be explained as easily as feathers. At that point, the-ex (who shall not be named) never stopped mocking me, but he did stop mocking Magic Cloud.
I don’t purposely go around saying, “ooh it’s a sign!” In other words, I am not looking for or CREATING signs in my mind, making the pieces fit, or shoving square pegs into round holes just to explain things away or to influence or excuse my choices. I am regularly consciously awake and aware, so I notice things, and grateful for when they show up. Occasionally, I will ASK, to be shown or given a sign.
Enjoy this R.Carlos Nakai & William Eaton clip as we move on to Part III, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlB9IxcfMuc. Native American flute touches my soul deeply and creates an emotional longing for a kinder, gentler time. This recording from Nakai’s – “Earth Spirit,” runs deep, when you simply sit back and allow the music to envelope you; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oe1_ObIkWys. It annoys the crap out of my teenage. That’s okay; she’s just resonating at a different frequency at this point in her journey.
Part III: Now, I will share my latest encounter with signs after Reiki, and you can perceive this as you see it. After years of practicing various types of energetic processing, I finally intuitively knew it was time and, randomly seized the right moment in time to sign up for a Reiki class. Random, yet intuitively knew, hmm, sounds a bit contradictory, but is it?
In Reiki, many of the symbols are Japanese derived. Who knows exactly why, but this class was natural for me, as if I always knew it. I wonder if that explains why my dear friend, way back in the 90s, said to me, “Why do you want to take Reiki? You already do it; you just don’t know you are doing it.” Using the word “wonder” is really a personal joke that everyone won’t understand, but can. While there are a lot of things, I still wonder about, there are many things that I don’t question or wonder about at all. It is what it is (Isis). I’ve been taught, and taught myself to tap into my intuitive knowing. If you check out my book, available here at www.marthadusage.com, I include a story where I spoke Japanese without knowing the language in this incarnation.
After class, I had to make a quick stop at the store to pick up an ingredient that I was missing for dinner. I questioned how badly, I really needed to do this, but decided not to make a big deal about it. Walking into the store, there was a coin lying on the ground, and as you can guess, I’ll pick up random shiny objects. The sun was intensely bright, so I just stuck it in my pocket without looking at it closely.
When I went to do laundry the next day, I found the coin and noticed…..the symbols on the coin were Oriental in nature. Wow! Not U.S., not Mexican, not Canadian, but Oriental. Now I still haven’t identified precisely where the coin is from, but the simple fact that it was not more local and was decorated with character type letters that could be Japanese was quite fascinating, synchronistic and seemed to be a sign to me. It brought a smile to my face. What little synchronicities and signs have brought a smile to yours?
Please feel free to share. I just want to finish up by giving a shout-out to Susanne Wilson – The one and only “Carefree Medium” (www.carefreemedium.com) for a great class. Another, to Keith Varnum (www.thedream.com) for helping to develop the ability to be aware, recognize and read the signs, guiding me on my path to helping others. So let’s close with this extensive blog post with “Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign” by Five Man Electrical Band, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLm3HMG8IhM. Turn it up! Tesla does a great cover http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDw4lsPDEho.
Not only is the number of abuse cases very high, but statistically only based on what is reported. With numbers as staggering as they are, and knowing there are so many more out there suffering in silence, chances are you know someone who has been abused, and you don’t even know it.
“Sometimes you just don’t know, what you just don’t know, until you know it.” – Me.
We are really good at hiding the abuse, hiding the pain, and either hiding being pissed-off or leaving others wondering why we are always so angry, aloof or numb.
In releasing my book, “Why Bother? Because Self-Help is Never Stupid,” my story, I am still surprised by those who are coming clean and sharing their story with me now. I say to myself, “hmm…now I know why that person showed up in my life.”
Just because someone hasn’t broken the silence, doesn’t mean they don’t still feel the effects of sexual abuse. Even when you learn to step beyond recovery, the trauma lasts a lifetime.
We are living in a world of ignorance. I am reminded of this as I heard a whisper, “why would you want anyone to know. It’s like telling the whole world.” While I am way past, giving a crap about what anyone else thinks, or protecting anyone from my personal story for that matter, it is precisely this type of comment that makes a victim feel worse. Until we step beyond recovery, we feel even more shame, embarrassment and humiliation then we were already feeling.
It’s precisely this type of ignorance, unconscious communication that shuts someone down. The words are clearly unconscious, as when you listen consciously, you can hear that it is only said because of the discomfort it creates for the verbalizer to think about, let alone allow his or her self to step into or observe what the victim actually feels like.
There is no justice or healing in being silent. Justice is not a blame game or about revenge. If we are to heal, evolve, and transform, we must stop and face this demon, not hide it.
Then there is the person who says, “I just let go” and expect you to do that too when they haven’t got a clue what you are feeling. That is not about you. These people often live from a perspective of denial. You can make a conscious choice to recognize that, be appreciative and grateful that they came into your life to show you this. From here grace and acceptance begin to fill our awareness and incorporate into your consciousness. Breathe in the sense of peace that comes with your new-found awareness. Remind yourself if you are going to hold onto anything, hold onto that peace which comes from conscious knowing as your true guiding light.
Becoming consciously aware, lets us say, in our head, “bite me, asshole, you have no clue what you are talking about,” instead of saying it in our out loud voice.
Two songs for you today: Ian Janis – “Breaking Silence” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LRR_9D89ks&feature=kp and Pat Benatar – “Hell is For Children” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxYsi5Y-xOQ
Has anyone ever said to you; “no one can make you feel anything or a certain way, you make that choice”? Annoying, huh? But, have you recognized that to be true?
All our emotions are trying to tell us something. When we hear this, it’s easy to drop into ego, and allow ourselves to feel wounded and/or invalidated. When we have an emotional attachment, this is precisely the time to observe ourselves, possibly even get to know ourselves a little better. Better yet, hold ourselves accountable. This doesn’t mean our feelings are wrong. It serves ourselves more authentically to observe…. and take in the lesson.
Have you ever gotten pissed-off at someone who was just trying to help? Family, friend, teacher perhaps? Chapter 3, of my book, talks about this. We also don’t want to place blame. It’s not the fault of the person trying to help, or your fault if you just don’t get that yet. It’s all part of the waking up process. Often our biggest lessons take a while to sink in and it can be frustrating until the enlightened “ah ha” occurs. It’s easy to slip into (doubt) “that sh*t doesn’t work,” (poor me, I can’t) it’s not working for me,” (denial) “I’d rather just not think about it,” (blame) “the teacher sucked.” If you haven’t examined your part and held yourself accountable for the role you played in being pissed-off or wounded, then be prepared to get the lesson again.
It’s easy to point the finger and say, “he/she thinks he/she knows so much.” I try to avoid telling, preferring to guide or share, letting others make their own choices, but let me tell you something, I walked around with my “piss-offedness” (yeah, my made up word) for a long time. Obviously, I had lessons to learn and getting over “pissed-offedness” is something I was meant to share. However, it’s the same for sad or any other emotion you are walking around with on a regular basis. It’s okay to validate the feeling, but then observer it, stay out of ego, and see what you can gain from this experience or hold yourself accountable for.
Recognizing that a messenger is bound take some shots, (bound…hmm also sounds like messengers have spiritual contracts, ya think?). I’m sure Osho pissed a few people off based on his following quote:
“I’ll Stand by You” by Chrissie Hynde and the Pretenders –has been playing over and over in my head. You decide how it fits in this post. Learning to stand independently on your own side (authentic vs. ego), or the ability to see that even when someone pisses you off, they really may have been standing by your side. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLpmj059JFA Then again, may be you have learned what you needed to, and it could just be time to move on to something new.
One of the things that I am strongly advocating is to help end suffering from sexual abuse. In doing so, maybe we can prevent it from happening. Statistically, 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 7 boys are sexually abused in their lifetime. Not only, is this statistic sickening, but this is only what is reported. Most of the people I know, never reported their abuse; nor did I. I just randomly clicked on Facebook and saw this post by the Pandora’s Project. Sometimes timing is divine, so I chose to share it here. It is my hope that if you have ever been a victim, that you will be inspired by their video to step beyond recovery into peaceful consciousness. Thank you.
PEACE VS. LOVE
Why is my first blog post about Peace?
Shouldn’t someone who is promoting consciousness be talking about love?
Isn’t Love the most important human experience?
Why is it more important to start with Peace and not Love? Because, when one puts Peace before Love, Love becomes automatic, and we can begin to comprehend the true meaning of Unconditional Love.
If you decide to read my book, you’ll hear me talk about the over-intellectualization of our feeling or not giving feeling any thought at all. The new-agers love to talk about love, sending love, surrounding with love, be love. This can be equated to “putting the cart before the horse.” (As you get to know me better, you’ll find out I love horses, therefore, I love horse metaphors.)
I AM NOT KNOCKING LOVE or discounting its importance. Experience shows us, to truly comprehend and FEEL Love on a deep level. One must be at Peace. BE-ing at Peace creates that sense of ONE-ness where Love and Unconditional Love are manifested as real, reality.
By saying Peace vs. Love, I am not saying the two are at war with one another. Instead, it is a suggestion on where to begin.
We’ve been indoctrinated to an idea of love and/or what love is “supposed” to be and have not taken the time to connect with ourselves on a deep level to really comprehend what love means to us on an individual basis.
Ultimately, it is each individual’s choice as to where they focus their attention. How many of us have been wounded by love and someone says to you, “He/She really does love you. They just don’t know how to show it”? Shouldn’t this be a wake-up call to us to let go of the old ways of expression rather than allowing the authentic self be trapped by the ego where we feel wounded or pissed-off? Hint; when you are stuck in the ego, the ego is actually pretending to be wounded or pissed. Your authentic-self KNOWS differently.
In our human form, we came here to express, and one of the things we came here to express is love. I am suggesting that we may want to re-evaluate our path to love. I am suggesting that putting Love before Peace might be the more difficult route.
In expressing the concept of putting attention on seeking Peace before Love, people have begun to express honestly that they don’t really know what Love is. Hurray!! That means they have chosen a new path to find what it is they are seeking. “Seek and Ye Shall Find” – Matthew 7:7. ASK – SEEK – KNOCK
Regardless of whether or not my ego is involved, a great sense of passion arises in me when I see that moment of still point, that look of wonder, and the body language that is triggered when someone is presented with the idea that “when you put attention on Peace that Love becomes automatic, effortless.”
By the way, I’m a big advocate of “integrating” thought and feeling while learning to be in “Heart-Centered Consciousness,” but that’s another topic for discussion and something discussed in my book, “Why Bother? Because Self-Help is Never Stupid.”
Before I go, I’d like you to consider there are those who are afraid to admit they don’t know what love is out of some irrational fear or belief that by not knowing love on a deep level, they must be a bad person. That’s called denial. If God is love, and if you live in denial, consider that by not exploring love on a deeper level and only exploring love on a perceived overly emotional level that you might actually be denying God and the god in you.
Why bother, to deny Love or Peace? It’s irrational.
At great risk to my reputation; this is where I will break one of those so-called spiritual laws; “let go of the need to defend yourself” or some crap like that and let my ego take over. Yes, this is sarcasm and a little joke for those who have read those laws. I defend my position by saying that I feel, it is more important to begin with Peace then Love, because when one is at Peace, love begins to flow automatically. It flows with an authenticity that may create feelings, but they are authentic feelings without attachments. From here flows a true sense of Freedom.
So much more to come….Namaste for Now! Together again in KNOW TIME!